I really don't want to be that blogger who says to much personal stuff and is all self pity all the time, but this is a turning out to be a really difficult season in my life and writing has always helped me sort out my feelings. For some reason, though, I haven't been able to bring myself to write the way I usually do (in a plain composition notebook, addressed to "Mr. Me" and signed "Miss You" based on a book I read in junior high-I Can't Tell You by Hillary Frank). Maybe I don't want to sort them out yet? Soon.
Anyway. . .
I am amazed at how many things in "the media" (ya know, TV, music, movies, etc. I think it's a silly grouping term, but it's the one I know, so I used it) seem so relatable to me now (why does Word trust the word "relatable, but blogger doesn't?). I have already thought about getting back together with David and ending our break before the semester long hiatus even starts, but I know that that is not the right decision. I'm used to being a "we" now, and it's hard to remember what it's like to just be me. I keep reminding myself that I'm the same person I was before, but I still am not doing a very good job of moving forward. I know this was (mostly) my decision and that there were a lot of things I wanted to do with my time away, but now that I have all this time to work on myself, I really don't know where to start alone. So I can't wait for some of my normal school year activities get started again and I have a schedule and other people to help me put the pieces back together and remind me how I wanted to be the better person I've been thinking of.
Basically none of that has anything to do with this song except that it's new and relatable to me. I am the girl being sung to, though, not the person singing. I am the one who wanted to do some "navigating." It's good to hear Jason was waiting at the end of the journey to hear all about it. I hope I can expect the same from David.
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
I don't wanna be someone
who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make
the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot
to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah,
we got a lot at stake
And in the end,
you're still my friend
at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break,
we didn't burn
We had to learn
how to bend
without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got,
and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.
I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
So, it's totally cheesy that I put the words in dark red, but I wanted to make sure you knew that this was me talking and those were the lyrics. I really like this song already and bought it immediately after watching the video the first time. I don't think I've given up on anything at the moment, so maybe these words will be true from my perspective at the end of the semester rather than me being the person they are being sung about.
Thanks Mr. A-Z for the wonderful music. I'm sure there's at least one other person out there who feels like they are on the same side of the situation that I am and that this gives them hope that the person they are venturing away from for now will still be there for them later. I pray he is. I don't think he's the "give up" type :]
P.S. It's still doing that thing where the last couple of paragraphs are triple spaced instead of just double. I seriously need to figure out how to fix that.
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